In the last several decades we have become a much looser society. No
longer do we hold to rigorously enforced codes of conduct and hardly
spoken of rules of etiquette. Instead, there is a come as you are
attitude that is all pervasive. But this recent change in social mores
does not mean that there are no longer any rules of etiquette
whatsoever. In fact, as the rigidity of the system has slackened it has
become even more important to behave. Now rather than an expected code
of conduct, etiquette is self imposed, but nonetheless is still
acknowledged and will effect the way that one is viewed, whether one
likes it or not.
1. Hold Doors in Public - Holding a door in public
is a simple nicety that rounds off some of life’s harsh edges and is a
practice that should continue. Holding the door shows a level of respect
for other people that is not only good in general but can mark you off
in many people’s eyes. Holding doors also extends to opening the door
for ladies getting in and out of cars. This rule should continue on
beyond the first date.
2. Stand When a Woman Leaves or Enters - Very few
people still observe this simple nicety, but it will certainly make a
woman feel as though she is respected. And for all practical purposes
remaining seated when anyone leaves or enters for the first time is
simply rude. By standing and greeting the person you show them that you
respect them. Neglecting this small observance can have subtle effects
on your relationships.
3. Have a Formal Time for Dinner - With the fast
pace of life and wild schedule that so many of us must keep today,
keeping a regular dinner hour may be difficult if not impossible. But
dinner has always been one of the traditional centering times for
families to come back together. Families are still families without
regular dinner times around a table, but with them the dinner becomes a
sign post of normalcy in an often uncertain world.
4. Dress for Dinner - Going hand in hand with the
ritual of dinning together with your family, is the aspect of dressing
for dinner. This is not to say that you must dress in a suite and tie
but certainly showing and expecting a little care in the way you dress
for dinner is just another sign of respect that both augments and
further enhances the ritual of eating at an appointed time.
5. Hand Written Thank You Note - Writing hand
written thank you notes has almost gone the way of riding to work in a
buggy, but it’s certainly something you should personally practice and,
if you have children, it is a behavior that you should instill in them
from an early age. For the time it takes to sit and write a hand written
note, the impact is great and for that reason alone you should practice
it. But there’s also the fact that thank you notes simply show your
thanks and respect for the person whom you are addressing. And remember,
while a thank you email might do if you’re jammed for time or without
paper, the hand written kind will say so much more.
There are many other lost rules of etiquette that could be included
here, but what is important to note is not that the mastery of certain
set rules is all that matters but instead the mastery of yourself and
the passing on of this tradition to the next generation is what counts.
It makes for a better and more humane world.
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